How to make depression worse

in ten easy conversational gambits, with commentary from a Real Depressed Person in brackets

Come on, pull up your socks! (As if socks are well connected synapses)

We all feel down from time to time (But what if the time is ten years?)

You’ve got to see the glass as half full (Merlot, Methadone or Meths?)

There are those worse off than you (I know that. I’m depressed, not Donald Trump)

Buy yourself something nice! (They were out of nice brains at Brains ‘R Us)

Why don’t you take up a hobby? (Like patronising depressed people, perhaps?)

You’ve got to learn to laugh at yourself! (That’s why I carved a smiley mouth on my wrist)

Just get out in the fresh air and enjoy yourself! (Yeah, I’ll put on my magic sport socks)

Why don’t you just have a good lie down? (You do make death seem strangely attractive)

Every cloud has a silver lining (Every cliché breaks an angel’s harp)

PS Cottier


PS Cottier gets up. PS Cottier feeds the budgie. PS Cottier writes. PS Cottier blogs at PS Cottier sleeps. Do all this, and you too can be Perfectly Serene Cottier.

© 2017